are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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