I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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