so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
