No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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