My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Enjoy the penises
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
