If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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