She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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