If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
