My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
