dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
