I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
