I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
