I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
