Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
