It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
