smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
