i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
