Jerry, you need to find god
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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