the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
