accomplished twins. life is a go
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
