you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
