just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well I just put wine in my tea
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
