They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
