we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
