The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
