fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
