I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I want to make a zoo with you.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Randomize
