Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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