Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
one might say we're banned from that church
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
