Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
