I want to walk on stilts...naked
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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