just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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