If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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