i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
