Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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