drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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