When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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