No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
