Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
