I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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