Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
