p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
