the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
