What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
