You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
