The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
