Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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