No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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