so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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