I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
