I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
