so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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