you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
