yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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